The other day, my best friend and I were chatting because we’re planning a girls’ trip to Ojai in a couple of weeks. (Side note: SO EXCITED.) We solidified our plans and do you know the very next thing I texted her, as soon as our plans were made? “Okay, I’m gonna work really hard to get skinny by then so I feel cute.” WHAT?!
No kidding. Here, read the rest of the exchange.
So for starters, you obviously see why we’re besties, right?
And secondly, I’m still trying to figure out why “feeling cute” was my first thought about our trip! A few days later, we picked up the conversation again after her fiancé asked her whether girls get nervous to see each other. And we both agreed, maybe not nervous, but we bring our A game because girls care what other girls think about them. Even in our situation, where we both know there’s zero judgement and we’ve been best friends for years, it was immediately on my mind that I wanted to look great for our trip. Why?
Honestly, I think it’s a two-part answer. And the first part is this. For me (and you can call BS on this but I swear it’s true), I have the best time when I feel like I’ve been working hard to take care of myself. When my skin is clear because I haven’t been eating a bunch of sugar, and I’ve been hitting the gym so my jeans aren’t cutting into my waist, and on and on. Then I feel like I can forget about being self-conscious and just relax knowing that I’m doing my best. So it’s more for me than for anyone else that I would want to “feel cute.”
The second part of the answer is probably not so easy to swallow, and I think it’s this: girls are judgy. With this particular friend, I’ve never felt an ounce of judgement throughout our friendship, but I think that all girls and women are hardwired to be prepared for judgement from other females. And that just makes me want to flip a table and scream about girl power and how we all need to come together, but I think it’s true. Unfortunately. So we dress up for each other and put on lip gloss and do our hair to impress other girls and just try to make it through.
What do you think? Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? Or do you find yourself bringing your A game when you’re going to be in a group of women? I feel like there’s lots more to say about this whole thing, and I’m just scratching the surface here. But I’d love to know your thoughts! xoxo
3 thoughts on “On Girls Impressing Girls”
Oh, yes. Even tho all my friends are dears and don’t judge! I guess we judge ourselves.
I guess for me it really depends. Super close friends (or family members)? Hairy legs and no make up: no shame at all! ?? All the other people, it’s way different though! I really have to talk to myself a LOT to remember I am propably the one that judges myself the most (and still, all the other people won’t get a glimpse of my legs when they’re not hairless!).
I think you’re absolutely right that we are our own harshest critics!