I saw a Facebook conversation recently where a woman was talking about her husband, but referred to him repeatedly as her “boyfriend.” At first I was super confused because I thought she was talking about two different dudes! I was like, “Dang, she’s really open about the details of her infidelity.” Haha! Then I figured it out. She calls her husband “boyfriend.” It kept swirling around in my head for the next few days and I finally came to the conclusion that she’s totally on to something.
What if we all treated our marriages like we were still dating? Woof guys, some seasons of marriage can be a slog, especially during the baby years. Please don’t misunderstand me — Ryan is everything and we have the greatest time together. I love him every bit as much as the day we were married, and more, and deeper, and in more substantial ways. But when you’re two toddlers deep and the days are flying by and you don’t know what to cook for dinner or the laundry is overflowing on a random Tuesday, sometimes it’s all you can do to keep the house clean and the children fed, let alone take a second to look at your spouse. It’s not all heart eyes and date nights. Sometimes it’s just dirty t-shirts and tv on the couch.
BUT! Let’s get back to that question — what if we treated marriages like dating? Or husbands like boyfriends?! Remember dating? All of the planning, and consideration, and making sure you looked really great, and just talking and looking at each other, and asking each other questions and then actually listening. It’s fun! And to me, the biggest upshot of pretending you’re still dating is that you’re actually not so there’s no pressure of “does this dude like me?” or “am I going home with him?” But all of the fun parts, like flirting and laughing and just generally being a little more lighthearted.
So I’m embarking on an experiment to be married to my boyfriend. Not exactly sure what it’s going to look like yet, but maybe I should document it here. Whaddaya think? xoxo