Having Kids Ruined my Brain and Here’s How I Know


Every once in a while I’ll be going through the motions of every day life and do something so absurd I have to stop myself in my tracks. Mind you, this didn’t used to happen to me. I used to be running on all cylinders at all times, like a well-oiled machine. And then I had kids. And all of a sudden my brain was totally scrambled. And now if I let myself go on autopilot as I’m doing my daily tasks, really weird things sometimes happen. I’m starting to write them down just for giggles, so here are a few of my greatest hits for your entertainment.

  • Leaving the gym this morning, I stepped off of the stair climber machine and walked away. And as I was walking away I took out my car keys, pointed them at the machine, and pushed the clicker like I was trying to lock my car.
  • I can no longer eat my own breakfast while I’m feeding Maggie her solids, after an unfortunate incident wherein I got mixed up and ate a spoonful of her baby oatmeal (mixed with breastmilk).
  • I once lost my cell phone for an entire afternoon. It was in the fridge.
  • One day Maggie was crying and I walked right up to Ryan and tried to put her pacifier in his mouth.

Mostly I can laugh it off, but I maintain the fact that those beautiful babes of mine broke my brain. And I don’t think it’s just me, right?! Any moms out there who experience something similar? I would love to know the weird stuff you’ve done — who’s got a doozy? xoxo

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  1. I find your post so amusing. But in a funny way. I can so relate to what you are saying. My youngest is 7 and my brain is still mulch

  2. I feel like I’ve done something similar to the phone in the fridge, but I’m so tired that I honestly can’t remember where t was.

  3. I tried to pay for my Starbucks with a graham cracker instead of a credit card. I also once poured maple syrup all over my salad instead of dressing.

  4. Nothing too crazy for me, but constantly driving or biking somewhere, getting trapped in a train of thoughts, get on autopilot and forget where I am going. I often have to take the scenic route, unintentionally.

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  7. hahahahahahahahahahaaa that cracked me up it happened to me before the pacifier one i think is the ultimate. How is throwing the babies clothes in the dirt bin when you actually wanted to throw away the diaper