All the Jeans I Own

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How to Wear Flared Denim Jeans

Yesterday I pulled on a pair of jeans and zipped them and shouted to Ryan, “Hey! I can fit in my pre-pregnancy big jeans!” And then I realized how ridiculous that sounded. I also realized that in my closet is a bizarre selection of jeans, sized to every season of my life. If you’re a mom or even just a woman, I know you know what I mean. Let me break mine down for you.

First, there are my good ol’ normal jeans. For when I’m my average, every day size. Pre-pregnancy, that is. Then there are pre-pregnancy tiny jeans — for when I’m a few pounds down from my norm. Then there are the pre-pregnancy big jeans — I think we all have big jeans. Those are for the days when you accidentally ate cake every day last month and it finally caught up with you. Or the day after Thanksgiving. Or when it’s that time of the month. The days when you just can’t bear to squeeze into your normal (let alone tiny) jeans.

THEN! If you’re a mom, you have an arsenal of maternity jeans, because stupid maternity jeans are fickle and some days they work and some days they don’t. I’m pumped to say that all my maternity jeans left the building the day I came home from the hospital, mostly because I couldn’t bear to look at them any more.

And also if you’re a mom, you have post-pregnancy jeans. A whole new set of jeans to deal with. There are the big post-pregnancy jeans, for the first few weeks when you just want to wear normal clothes but you still sort of look 5 months pregnant. Then there are the high-waisted jeans because your stomach just ain’t what it used to be (and thank God high waists are back in style for a second). And if you’re lucky, after you work your way through those categories you end up back in some form of your pre-pregnancy jeans someday. After Henry, I was back in my tiny jeans after about 6 months, mostly thanks to breastfeeding (I think?) and spin class. Because Lordy knows I was eating everything in sight so it sure wasn’t my diet.

I like to think that all of my pre-pregnancy jeans are sitting in that pile in my closet for a good reason and that someday I’ll be back in them. Because there are some cute jeans in there, guys. Now tell me — have I missed any categories of jeans that are currently hiding in your closet? xoxo

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