married life // honey, i’m home

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Elliott ErwittImage by Elliott Erwitt.

During our engagement, Mr. Lovely and I participated in a program called Pre-Cana, which is a course that couples have to go through in order to be married in the Catholic church. For us, it was a really enjoyable process (believe it or not), and it helped us bring to light things that might be contentious in our marriage, and talk about them in a really healthy way. I kind of loved it. No joke.
 
Our facilitator was was really awesome, and he told us once that his main advice for a happy marriage was to always “top the dog.” After blank stares from both of us, he went on to explain. You know how sometimes you leave a dog at home alone all day, and then you come home and the dog practically bowls you over with love and excitement to see you? Like you’re the best thing since sliced bread? Yeah, you gotta top that. (He told us that it became a tradition for him and his wife to slow dance with each other for a few moments when one or the other got home. How adorable is that?!)
 
And this totally hit home with us, because we both work at home on our computers, and often one will come home from a day out while the other one is completely immersed in work. But you know what? The work will keep! If I get up to give my husband a big, huge, “welcome home” hug and ask about his day, the work will still be there afterward.
 
So obviously we’re not perfect at it, but it became something for us to work on. And it’s so true — if he gets up to greet me when I get home, the rest of our evening is set off on the right foot. What about you? Has “topping the dog” ever been an issue for your and your honey? Do you have an evening ritual when you both get home from work? I’d love to hear! xoxo
 
P.S. If you’re getting hitched in the NYC area and need to take the Pre-Cana courses, here’s who we used.

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