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who do you trust?

Who Do You Trust?

{Oooh, isn’t this image so dramatic?!}

I had a realization yesterday, and it totally shocked me! Let me preface this by saying that everything’s cool and I’m happy and everything is hunky-dory. But I wanted your opinions on this one, so I’m sharing. Hope this one doesn’t get anybody riled up, but here we go. My shocking realization is this:  I discovered that I have a pretty pessimistic view of most folks when it comes to trusting them. I realized that my opinion is that there are very few people you can rely on in this world to look out for you, and the one that you should rely on most is yourself.

Now don’t get me wrong — I trust my husband, and my family, and a couple of really close friends, but beyond that — nothin’. And this totally shocks me! Because I consider myself an optimist through and through. But this one snuck up on me and I didn’t even know I felt this way.

I don’t want to come right out of the gate here and sound like I’m proclaiming the human race to be awful. Haha! I think most people are good, I really do. But I also think that given the choice to have their own best interests at heart or someone else’s best interests at heart, most people would choose their own and not look back. It just seems to me, the more I see the world, the more people are on the hustle for themselves and not too concerned about the folks around them. And no, nothing awful or earth-shattering happened yesterday to make me feel the need to write this down and talk about it with you guys. But I did find out the way that I feel, and it really surprised me. What do you think? Does this one make me a cranky jerk who has no faith in the human race? Or do you feel similar?

I’d truly love to know your thoughts, and who it is that you trust. I mean, someone you would trust to really, completely look out for you in any arena — at home, at work, at church, wherever. Hit me with your thoughts, guys! xoxo

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17 thoughts on “who do you trust?

  1. I have to say I agree and I hate it. I always have that question in the back of my head, what if. I hate that the blog world is like this, I wish it wasn’t.

  2. I agree with you to an extent. We live in a fallen world- so it is only natural that the people and things around us are…well…lame. But the thing is too- I am lame. We are ALL lame.

    As far as trust goes- I trust my husband, maybe a handful of friends and my Father in Heaven. The end. Not to say I don’t love those others around me, I just feel (and have learned from experiences) that there need to be certain boundaries around the majority in order to keep yourself safe. I handle each person individually. Some I share my life with, some I keep it surfacey and some I really don’t share much at all and just listen to them.

    All about boundaries 🙂

    1. So true! And the other thing that I guess I forgot to say is that I don’t think I blame anybody for it. Ya know? Because it’s true that we are all flawed. And so maybe boundaries (which is in itself a form of looking out for yourself) are the answer. Thanks for your thoughts!

  3. Actually, i don’t trust people either. I mean i have a tons of friends but really only about 4 people i consider close friends.

    i was reading this really interesting article the other day about introverts (i’m a hardcore introvert) and author set out to delineate the qualities of an introvert.

    trusting people is one of the introvert qualities.

    just thought that was interesting to share. maybe it has nothing to do with your optimistic outlook on life (because i’d like to think i’m optimistic, too) but perhaps just how our brains function.

  4. Don’t worry – I don’t think you are crazy or pessimistic. I think it is healthy to fully trust only a handful of people. For me, I trust my husband, God, my family, and a very few of my closest friends. And I think that’s a good thing. It doesn’t mean that I cut people out of my life or put an emotional wall up. We can’t be best friends with everyone in our lives. Don’t beat yourself up or apologize for feeling like you do 🙂

  5. The classical Lord of the Flies argument. I can’t say that I’m not in your camp on this one. I will say that I struggle with the fact that my own actions and attitudes only serve to perpetuate this non-trust cycle. I haven’t figured out how to solve that problem yet without being overly exposed.

    1. Seriously. I debated having a whole other section of this post that addresses exactly that. But it would have gone on forever. 🙂 Can’t say that I’m perfect either.

  6. It’s funny- because I feel like I’m almost the opposite! I definitely seem to be more pessimistic, but I trust pretty much anyone. I don’t know why this is, and its similarly puzzling.

    I think maybe my tendencies are separate- I’m more optimistic about people in general/humanity, and more pessimistic about my own life/things that happen to me. Maybe it has something to do with knowing more details about myself and my life.

    1. I think it totally makes sense that it can be compartmentalized like that, too — feeling one way about what’s inside of you and another about what’s external. This is getting DEEP, y’all. 🙂

  7. I agree, and take it even one step further. I have experienced so much in the past 10 years that has changed my outlook… shaken things up so to speak. The ‘closer’ someone is to me, the less I feel I tell them. Now…is it a lack of trust. Perhaps, but I think it’s a lack of trust that my sharing with them might disappoint them. Enter complete strangers. I find myself talking to strangers who don’t know me from Eve! They have nothing vested, no knowledge of my life as a whole, just the snapshot I give them. And because of that, they give me unadulterated advice, because I’m not going to come back and hold a grudge when/if it flops.
    Optimistic to the outside, practicing pessimist. Yup…that’s about right.

    1. Fascinating! Maybe that’s one of the reasons why counselors or therapists are so helpful for some people! An entirely outside, unbiased perspective on things.

  8. I agree, and don’t think that it is a bad thing. I do not think that we should be faulted for not trusting everyone, or thinking that they are all good people. Stories like Little Red Riding Hood would not exist if this were not an important lesson to learn. It’s always awful when we are reminded of this in our own lives. I’m sorry you cam up against it. People are lame and it stinks when we get a reminder of it.

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