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things i’m afraid to tell you

{Image by Creature Comforts.}

Recently, there’s been an amazing article posted by Jess Constable floating around in blogland. And that honest and beautiful post prompted a movement in the blogosphere that’s been wonderful, and is still gaining steam.  Ez from Creature Comforts, along with a few other of my very favorite bloggers, decided to get a little honest and tackle an issue that seems to plague many of us — they’re talking about the difference between true reality and the idea of “reality” that’s presented on a blog.

Now obviously, we’re all into blogs because we love sharing, and we love beautiful things. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But I myself have definitely had people ask me what my life is “really” like — do I wake up daily singing a sparkly little song while a birdie comes and sings harmony on my shoulder? Or do I grumble to life with bedhead and punch the little birdie in the face?

Obviously, what we as bloggers aim to provide our readers is beauty. Maybe it’s an escape, maybe it’s an inspiration, but it’s always beauty. The disconnect comes when our readers (or we ourselves) begin to think of this blogland perfection as the norm. It’s not. And it shouldn’t be. And so bloggers are getting brave, being real, and exposing some of the realities that they usually keep hidden. Because no one is perfect.

Truthfully, it’s a scary thing to do. But I was so inspired by the transparency of all of these women that I admire so greatly, I was encouraged and empowered to join the movement. So, cringing though I may be, I’m here joining the ranks and telling you some Things I’m Afraid to Tell You.

1.  I’m a jealous person. Super jealous. But not in a “Stop looking at my man” kind of jealous; it’s more like a “She got that role? Why not me? That blogger just got a huge sponsorship. I want that. Why is her picture in the paper and not mine?” kind of jealous. It’s ugly. And I let it out almost never because it’s just ridiculous, but that doesn’t mean the feeling’s not there. Usually when I get jealous, I know I’m not working hard enough, so I put my head down and live my own life.

2.  Sometimes I get secretly annoyed at having to document and photo all of my DIY projects. I love, love, love to share them here on Lovely Indeed. But sometimes I get annoyed at how difficult it is to do it all by yourself. The shutter button on my camera has a layer of glue and glitter on it. I’m not kidding.

3.  I’m very sensitive to other people’s perception of whether I’m succeeding or failing. I think that’s why I’m an overachiever. I need to constantly be in success mode. On a semi-related note, the opinions of the people closest to me matter a lot; maybe too much. I need to know that the people I love approve of my decisions. Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who just did what they knew they wanted, and everyone else could take a flying leap.

4.  I worry that splitting my life between acting and blogging is making me mediocre at both. (Eep. That was a scary one to get out.)

5.  There are pretty much always dishes in my sink. I hate that. And if I were left to my own devices, I would never put away my laundry. I would just pick new things to wear out of the clean pile of laundry on the floor. Thank goodness for Mr. Lovely.

6.  Sometimes I worry that Mr. Lovely and I are using up all of our happy. Like there’s a limit and our first few years together have been so lovely that something really awful is in store for us. Isn’t that terrible? It kind of sounds like a science-fiction movie, but it’s there in the back of my mind sometimes.

7.  Too often, I make myself responsible for everyone else’s happiness. That’s exhausting.

8.  I wonder all the time how the other bloggers I admire live such extravagant lives. As far as I can tell, blogging ain’t no gold mine. I know that you can make a pretty honest living, but I don’t know how you can buy $300 scarves every other day. And no, I’m certainly not doing any such thing.  My Pinterest may be full of Anthropologie, but my closet is full of Target. (Hey, maybe that’s their secret too! I just figured it out.)

Yikes. Not gonna lie — that was kind of scary. But also really wonderful to feel like a real person and know that there are other real people out there too! Thank you so much for being a reader and for creating a community here that is inspiring, positive, and supportive. If you’re a blogger and you’re inspired, you should share with us. It feels kind of nice.  xoxo

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20 thoughts on “things i’m afraid to tell you

  1. Well you know, I am a new visitor here to your beautiful space, and recently posted on this topic as well. What I am loving about this movement of being real, is that in just one post, you feel like you really know the blogger behind the blog!

    I couldn’t relate more on #2! And speaking of, featuring one of your DIY’s today:)
    Okay and #8…I wonder the same thing?! I have to limit myself on blogs like that simply because it gives me shopping frenzy:)

    Thanks for your authenticity. It was refreshing!
    x, Anna

  2. You are indeed lovely. And normal. And your blog is pretty much perfect. And I totally know how you feel about DIY projects. When I first started my blog {and it still hasn’t been that long}, I was shocked at the amount of work it took to put together one DIY post or one Round Up post. Goodness.

    But you are normal. And lovely.

  3. Most of this I can completely relate to you on. Especially #8. Wondered this all the time too and I am the same way I have champagne taste for sure but I am a TJ Max, Target, and resale/thrift shopper. I hear ya sister! Way to be brave you have totally inspired me. Thanks for your honesty. You are so talented!!

  4. Wow, absolutely love this post. Thank you for being so honest! It reminds me of an article I read about how many teens are developing low self-esteem because they spend so much time on social media (such as Facebook), comparing their own reality to the “lives” of their peers. When in fact, these “lives” are carefully edited to put emphasis on the good, or what they want people to see. Anyway, it’s an interesting concept and I see how that can happen in the blog world too. I am looking forward to checking out that link to the other bloggers who are involved in this “movement.” Thanks again, love your blog even more now!


  5. thanks for your honesty. i can relate to lots of what you shared. it’s nice to know others struggle with the same things i do. thanks for being so brave.

  6. “when a woman tells the truth she is creating the possibility for more truth around her” -Adrienne Rich

    thanks so much for this, it’s so easy to be completely overwhelmed by all the beauty in the blogosphere. Finding out that there are indeed real humans behind the writing makes it easier for all of us to relate and appreciate 🙂 huzzah!

  7. i can SO relate to #6!!! whenever i’m feeling really good about my life (which is pretty often), i start thinking, okay, what horrible thing is right around the corner? so far so good, but i’m glad i’m not the only one who deals with that 🙂 and i could write a whole novel about the weird non-transparency and drama of the blogosphere, but i will spare you…i’m just glad you are one of the good ones 🙂

  8. Oh my goodness I’ve often wondered – “how DO these bloggers manage to afford such an extravagant life?!” Glad to not be alone on that one.

  9. I’ve been reading a lot of these posts and honestly yours is definitely one of favorites. Its the one i keep referring back to. It’s refreshing how honest this idea is, but really only a handful of bloggers are really addressing meaningful topics…but you have. Way to go!

  10. Pingback: Things I’m afraid to tell you – Part 2 | Design&
  11. “Sometimes I worry that Mr. Lovely and I are using up all of our happy.”- Wow! I’ve had that thought before about my hubby and me! Craziness… Love your list; thanks for sharing!!

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