Married Life // Tips For Year Two

yeartwo

Around this time last year, I posted about our first year of marriage, and the things that we had learned along the way. I thought it would be cool, as long as the blog is around, to do the same every year.

It’s funny, because I really still feel like a newlywed. We’ve accomplished so much together over the last two years (including numerous jobs, career changes, and a cross-country move), but I still feel like we were just on the dance floor at our reception, happy and exhausted and content after a perfect wedding day. But I really notice the changes that we’ve undergone in the day-to-day stuff. Little things we do or don’t do because we are getting to know each other in the way that you only can when you’re living with someone, day in and day out. Those are the things that I think have changed this year.

Sometimes You Just Have to Suck it Up. It’s kind of along the same lines of Tip #3 from last year, but this year I’m learning that this can get a little more intense. It’s less like, “Okay fine, we’ll see the movie you want to see.” And more like, “Okay fine, I can manage by myself while you leave town for a month.” When you’re making a life together, there will inevitably be moments when your plans don’t line up. But I’m learning that it’s so important to take a step back, look at a decision, and see where the benefits will be. And if your partner is really going to benefit, maybe you just need to suck it up, smile, and support the dude.

Take a Break. Hard-core lesson this year: when we’re sniping or frustrated with each other, we have to make an immediate change. Half the time, one of us is just hungry! Can you even believe that? Literally. We’ll be cranky with each other, then eat, and it’s gone. (We’re a mess.) But seriously, it’s usually that we need a break or a change of scenery. So we do just that. We work from home, so we’ll give ourselves a little two-hour vacay and head out to do something fun. Just take a break. And it usually works.

When It’s Important to You, Say So. I don’t know why this one is so hard for me to get! I know the rules, I just forget them sometimes. There are times when I know how I feel and what I want, but I don’t tell Mr. Lovely because I think it’s stupid or I don’t want to burden him, or whatever. He actually wants to know what I need, but for some reason I just can’t get it across. So when he convinces me to tell him, it’s no biggie and we are able to move on simply. I’m working on this one, and I think it’ll save a lot of time and energy when I get it.

Don’t Say That Thing. Sometimes, in the heat of an argument, you’ll be tempted to say something mean. Just don’t. It’s never worth it.

Always, Always, Always Be On the Same Team. I think this is the thing that I’m taking away from this second year of marriage most clearly. We are a team. No matter what. There have been times and situations this year when the only reason my head didn’t explode was because I knew my husband was there, on my side. That’s all I needed. And I hope that I’ve made it abundantly clear to him that I’ve always got his back, too.

Again, folks, I’m no expert, but I do know that I love being married. Talk about the greatest adventure ever. And I’m also all ears, so I’d love for you to leave comments with your marriage tips as well! I love hearing from you guys. xoxo

8 thoughts on “Married Life // Tips For Year Two”

  1. My hub and I are on year 3, and this year I have been learning about really taking the role of supporter and encourager, and allowing him to lead us in our marriage. On the one hand, it’s so humbling and I’m learning a lot about trust, while on the other hand it is truly empowering to feel like I can let go of some of our worries and decisions and he and the Lord will take care of us.

  2. Almost 3 years married in October, so far I’ve learned some lessons in letting go, opening up and saying how you feel and saying it when you feel it. There is no point on holding back (even when is hard to just go ahead and say it), when there is an argument because they happen, take a moment to remember you are talking to the person you love the most and lower your voice… it works for me. Never assuming anything is also important, communication is the key to be a great team, I love that we are team always. I love being married ❤❤❤

  3. Happy Anniversary! I think we were probably married around the same time. I got married almost two years ago in August. Marriage is a true gift, but sometimes life can challenge the relationship. It’s all about remembering the love and remembering each other. We value our identities and also our “us” time. Finding a balance to nurture both is key. Also, taking time to just be with each other and not have any distractions (i.e. the tv, phone etc.), can bring you so much closer. Honestly, it’s really all the little things that make marriage beautiful.

    Carmen

  4. I love all of these tips! Along with “take a break” I’ve also found that it’s helpful to remind myself that you always have a choice in how you’d like to respond. I’m not great at it, but whenever I choose to respond to a tense situation with humor, it always ends up better. It helps that my guy is good humored to begin but I think that it’s even better when we’re both willing to laugh off a difficult situation.

  5. This tips are awesome! I remember this post from last year and I totally love it! It’ll be great for you to look back on after you’ve been married for twenty years to see how far you have come as a couple and as individuals.
    When things get heated between my husband and I, we try to “take a break” and give each other space and time to think.
    I feel like one of the things I struggle with as well, is speaking up for something that is important to me. I need to work on that.
    Also, Happy Anniversary! I hope you have a great time celebrating! 🙂

  6. These are some really great tips. I am still in college and have been with my guy for almost 4 years. It is a lot of work and even though we are not married, we act like it. I found the one of the greatest tips I have ever been given is to make sure you value each other and do things to SHOW how much the other person means to you. I feel like the more you show each other how much you care, the relationship becomes nicer and their are usually less fights because you know the other person has good intentions for your relationship. I know i might be young then you but maybe we can both give each other some helpful tips on how to survive marriage or just dating<3 I love your blog btw and good luck with the baby!

    http://www.sillycrazylove.com

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