Around this time last year, I posted about our first year of marriage, and the things that we had learned along the way. I thought it would be cool, as long as the blog is around, to do the same every year.
It’s funny, because I really still feel like a newlywed. We’ve accomplished so much together over the last two years (including numerous jobs, career changes, and a cross-country move), but I still feel like we were just on the dance floor at our reception, happy and exhausted and content after a perfect wedding day. But I really notice the changes that we’ve undergone in the day-to-day stuff. Little things we do or don’t do because we are getting to know each other in the way that you only can when you’re living with someone, day in and day out. Those are the things that I think have changed this year.
Sometimes You Just Have to Suck it Up. It’s kind of along the same lines of Tip #3 from last year, but this year I’m learning that this can get a little more intense. It’s less like, “Okay fine, we’ll see the movie you want to see.” And more like, “Okay fine, I can manage by myself while you leave town for a month.” When you’re making a life together, there will inevitably be moments when your plans don’t line up. But I’m learning that it’s so important to take a step back, look at a decision, and see where the benefits will be. And if your partner is really going to benefit, maybe you just need to suck it up, smile, and support the dude.
Take a Break. Hard-core lesson this year: when we’re sniping or frustrated with each other, we have to make an immediate change. Half the time, one of us is just hungry! Can you even believe that? Literally. We’ll be cranky with each other, then eat, and it’s gone. (We’re a mess.) But seriously, it’s usually that we need a break or a change of scenery. So we do just that. We work from home, so we’ll give ourselves a little two-hour vacay and head out to do something fun. Just take a break. And it usually works.
When It’s Important to You, Say So. I don’t know why this one is so hard for me to get! I know the rules, I just forget them sometimes. There are times when I know how I feel and what I want, but I don’t tell Mr. Lovely because I think it’s stupid or I don’t want to burden him, or whatever. He actually wants to know what I need, but for some reason I just can’t get it across. So when he convinces me to tell him, it’s no biggie and we are able to move on simply. I’m working on this one, and I think it’ll save a lot of time and energy when I get it.
Don’t Say That Thing. Sometimes, in the heat of an argument, you’ll be tempted to say something mean. Just don’t. It’s never worth it.
Always, Always, Always Be On the Same Team. I think this is the thing that I’m taking away from this second year of marriage most clearly. We are a team. No matter what. There have been times and situations this year when the only reason my head didn’t explode was because I knew my husband was there, on my side. That’s all I needed. And I hope that I’ve made it abundantly clear to him that I’ve always got his back, too.
Again, folks, I’m no expert, but I do know that I love being married. Talk about the greatest adventure ever. And I’m also all ears, so I’d love for you to leave comments with your marriage tips as well! I love hearing from you guys. xoxo