Image from Design Mom.
I am loving this Married Life column more and more, because you guys are just so smart. It’s wonderful to have such awesome readers as a sounding board for some of these relationship issues that sometimes people just don’t talk about! So let’s get into it some more.
How do you and your partner deal with the holidays? It gets tricky, doesn’t it? Especially if you both have families that want you to be there to celebrate with them. There are so many factors — do you live in the same town as both or either of your families (or are you across the country, like we have been)? Do the two families even live in the same state? Do your families have traditions that are important to you to carry on? Or maybe one or the other family doesn’t even really celebrate the holidays.
I suppose my opinion is that when two people get married, the holidays are theirs to choose what to do with. So I guess the bottom line is that you and your spouse are on the same page with where to go and what to make a priority. For the last two Thanksgivings before this one, Mr. Lovely and I stayed in NYC, once celebrating with friends and once just by ourselves. And while we missed our families, I really enjoyed both of those holidays. This year we had Thanksgiving in September with his family in Denver, because everybody happened to be in town at the same time. For Christmas, my family has some pretty major traditions, so we usually end up there. We are kind of feeling things out as we go, and that’s the best we can do.
What I do know for sure is that it’s just plain painful when traditions change, especially for schmaltzy old sentimentals like me. But there’s no way around that. People grow up, get married, have babies, and need to start making their own traditions. I mean, how else does a tradition get started than to just start? But I think that’s why families get so tricky around the holidays — everyone just wants to hang on to the traditions that they know.
So what about you? Where do you head for the holidays, and how do you deal with two sets of family? Are you starting any new traditions? xoxo