Married Life // Getting Ready for Baby

readyforbaby

I mean, is there such a thing as being “ready” for a baby? I’m starting to think not. You can pick the name, put together the crib (or watch your husband put together the crib), and paint the walls, but I don’t feel like any of that means you’re ready. But still, we’re trying to “ready” ourselves as much as we possibly can.

I guess in our heads, being ready means being educated but not crazed. Yeah, we’ve read a few books. And we’ve scheduled all of our classes so we know which end of the kid to stick the diaper on and which end to feed. And the nursery is on its way to not being a shambles. But other than that, I think we’re both mentally preparing ourselves for… um, anything. It seems like we’ve had an unspoken agreement all along that we, together, will be ready to tackle whatever changes the kiddo brings. Maybe he’ll be a great sleeper or maybe we will be up every night for the next six months. We’re ready. Maybe breastfeeding will be a breeze or maybe it’ll be a nightmare. We’re ready. Who knows? But I think the thing is, I’m feeling ready because Mr. Lovely and I are heading into parenthood with the same vibe. Basically, let’s do this — together.

I keep reading and hearing everywhere that the best thing you can do to raise a child is keep your marriage strong, secure, and on the top of your priority list. It really makes sense to me. We were the team before the kid and we’ll be the team after the kid. I think it can get to be a bit of a touchy subject, but I understand it when I hear husbands and wives say that they try to put their marriage first and their children an immediate second. Even in these pre-parenting days, I feel like it’s been so important to have the husb by my side, at doctor appointments, choosing baby stuff, making decisions. It’s a comfort and helps me feel like I have a teammate in all of it.

What’s your take? Do you think it’s out of line to prioritize a marriage over a child? Do you think they go hand in hand? Is it even possible to keep your marriage a priority in the midst of raising babies? xoxo

7 thoughts on “Married Life // Getting Ready for Baby”

  1. It’s not out of line to put your marriage first. How will you be teaching a child what a good relationship is if they are always the center of everything?
    My husband and I just had twins and it’s hard at the beginning to give each other time. But we expected that, we talked about it and set the expectation that one date night a month would be a good goal in the beginning. Other than having a few hard and fast rules we try to be as open as possible because the decisions you make before baby gets here can make you feel guilty when you have to be more flexible once they’re here.

  2. my kids are older now (5+6) and there are some special needs at home that make parenting the priority during the day. But the kids go to bed early and we get to chat after. We also take advantage of dates whenever grandparents visit. Its definitely good to think through !

  3. i dont have any kids myself nor am i married so i really have no say in this but, there’s this one guy at my job, him and his wife have 4 boys. he was telling me that a while ago one of his kids asked him something along the lines of “dad if you had to choose me or mom who would you pick?” and he answered with “your mom.” his son wasnt hurt because he explained to him that before them it was mom and dad and when they grow up and get their own wives it will always be mom and him.

    i love that idea.
    youre not placing any less value on your child, in fact to me its like your placing even more value on your kids.

    you cant keep a happy home without the bond that helped you start it in the first place.
    you need time to care for the person you picked to spend the rest of your life with.

    i believe that teaches children about true love and values on a relationship.

    i cant wait (yes i can!) to experience this.

    but i for sure know you guys are solid!
    its mr. and mrs lovely were talking about! 😉
    congrats on your new adventure!

  4. I definitely don’t think it’s out of line to prioritize your marriage over your children. Our children (well, our oldest – the others are a bit too young) know about those priorities and why. Granted, that in know way means our children receive less love, in fact both my husband and I know that we ought to devote time to them and that sometimes sacrificing an adult discussion until after bedtime is necessary in the name of peace.

  5. I think marriage & children should be the same priority right up their at #1. Sometimes one will come before the other, but I don’t think they should be in a fixed position.

  6. Been married 8 years, pregnant with my second and have a two year old at home. Marriage is absolutely the priority. I have seen so many couples where it isn’t and it just doesn’t work out. What happens when your kids move out…it’s just you two again. Work, kids, social life, and kids always try to stear you away or take the lime light but remember I if your marriage is not #1 none of those things really work out right and contention starts to build. Even though when the kids go to bed you are tired, take those couple hours to rekindle thigs with your hubby; pretend it’s just you two again.

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