Married Life // Friends

FriendsImage by Peter Turnley, via Vintage Everyday.

If you’re married, or in a long-term relationship, who are your friends?

Do your friendships function in the same way that they did before you were in a relationship?  I’m curious to know! When I was in high school and college, I was really awful at keeping in touch with friends when I was dating. And I regret it, big time. I had some of the best girlfriends in the whole world and I messed it up because I was more concerned with my boyfriend. I’ve sort of forgiven myself for that, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t wish it was different.

But with Mr. Lovely, it’s been a different story, in a good way. I met him when I was relatively new to NYC, and so lots of our friends are people that we met together, at the same time. And I love that. There’s also the added bonus of him introducing me to some of his awesome friends (and vice versa), and really hitting it off with them. So our friends multiplied, and that is awesome.

There’s also the whole thing of having “couple friends” and “single friends.” I mean, does that make you feel old, or what? When we hang out with our couple friends, I always love it because they get it, but it all of a sudden makes me feel like I’m on a sitcom from the ’90s. Weird.

And no matter what, there’s just nothing that takes the place of having a good old fashioned hangout with a girlfriend. A couple of my besties are married or in relationships, and we always always always make time for just the girls. I don’t know what it is, but I do know that after spending time with my good girlfriends I’m always a better version of myself.

So who are your friends? I’d love to know how your relationship has affected your friendships, and vice versa. Oh, and a big shout-out to all of my beautiful friends (all over the country) for making my life so full. xoxo

7 thoughts on “Married Life // Friends”

  1. ahh.. It’s a little hard. I find that I would spend more time with my husband and his friends than the other way around. I am very bad at keeping intouch!

  2. We make an effort to get a group of couple friends together at least once a month. And maybe every other week we do a double date, whether it’s out or at someone’s house. I think spending time with other couples really enforces our bond with each other – you see your spouse out of the house and have moments where you remember why you fell in love in the first place.

    I also have girl time usually once a week, either out to lunch with a friend close by or on the phone with someone further away. Girl time always just refreshes me and makes me feel like a brighter version of myself again. I think it’s something about getting out of your own head and feeling like someone else really gets you and loves the person you are.

  3. I think there is a very difficult balance to maintain between single friends, married friends, and time with your spouse. When we first got married all our friends (almost) were single and we saw them a lot. We didn’t want to be one of those married couples who drops off the grid. However, almost all the new friends i’ve made since getting married a year and a half ago are married. we end up doing more with them because we can hang out together with them. I try to incorporate my single friends into girl time as much as I can but its usually a monthly lunch or something like that.

    loved this post!

  4. We actually have several “couple” friends who are also “single” friends. We hang out all together as couples but also have lots of just girl time too!

    Couple time and single time are both important; I feel like I can connect on a deeper level with these girlfriends because of the fact that we spend time together alone and with our spouses. At any rate, being married has taught me how to connect with my friends (couple and single!) on a deeper level than before!

  5. I feel like my husband and I have a really good mix of friends. When we first got married, I moved into his neighbourhood (a 20 min drive from my former). At this point I felt a bit isolated from my own friends. Within a few months I was glad that we both adapted to married life. Now we have many couple friends, single friends, and family friends. Making friends together in our own neighbourhood has been great and I am so glad that we have such a great community just being a part of our church.

  6. I made the best friends ever in college, and my husband gets along with them so well. I love that they feel comfortable talking to him on the phone for a minute for advice or hanging out all together, just chatting. They treat him like an extension of me, another best friend, and I love it. I was the first to get married, and it kind of changed the dynamics a bit, but not too much. Friendship is so important!

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