Married Life // Big Changes

Married Life Changes

Mr. Lovely and I tend to kind of go big or go home. Throughout the course of our dating and marriage, we’ve chosen some crazy paths — working in China together for a few months, going on U.S. tours together, moving from NYC to LA, and marriage and now babies and all of that. And now with the baby on the way and moving into a new home, we have another set of big changes coming our way.

I realized the other day that we kind of have this series of emotions that we go through when we make a big decision or change. Usually, it starts before the decision is even made, and we both find ourselves kind of squirmy and uncomfortable. And it takes us a while to realize that maybe we’ve outgrown our current situation or we are looking for a new direction. So once we realize it and make the decision, we are antsy to get going.

Then usually with the whole antsy thing comes a phase of being unsettled for a bit. Like with this current move, for a good few weeks we didn’t know when our new home would be ready or when we would actually be moving. This part makes Mr. Lovely crazy. He likes to know exactly what is going on, and when, and where, and how, and what. And I totally get that. But it’s really uncomfortable for him. So once the details get finalized, he’s full speed ahead in planning and organizing mode. No joke, you should see that kid pack up a house. It’s like a well-oiled machine. Or like he’s playing life-sized Tetris with our belongings.

So now that we’ve been through a few of these whole life-altering-change-type-of-things together, I feel like we have a handle on adjusting and being prepared for new directions together. And I’m grateful to be getting a little more comfortable with being unsure of what a new decision will bring, or having some elements be out of our control for a while. I’m finding that it’s all about stepping back and getting some perspective. Because in the end, things usually just work out. Cheesy but true: we’ve always said that everything will be cool as long as we’re together. I’m feeling bonkers lucky to have a guy like that on my team these days.

So what about you?! How do you and your partner deal with big changes? Is it easy or tough for you? And what types of changes have you been through together? Do tell! xoxo

10 thoughts on “Married Life // Big Changes”

  1. I really love this post. Everything you explained are natural emotions to experience during any sort of transition in life, and I think that most of us never take the time to actually think about these kinds of things!

    For me, recognizing and accepting that I’m uncomfortable with change is a big step in getting through it. And, I always remind myself that no matter what ends up happening, everything will always work out. Who knows what the future holds… just have to trust that it’s for the best!

    1. Absolutely! I always remind myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel when I’m going through a transition. Sometimes it’s easy to forget, and you start feeling like you’ll be in this state of limbo forever. Trust is for sure!

  2. After all those theatre tours out of NYC, I pronounce you two the most expert of packers! You seem to have that down to a science! I’m assuming you’ll apply that to your big move. Good job.

  3. Oh my, this post speaks to me so much these days. I am a new mama to my delicious son, Camden. He is almost four months old. Just today I felt so emotional because of the change of having a baby in regards to how it has changed our marriage. Now, not to scare you or anything, but I share this with you as I wish other mamas had told me that this would happen so at least I wouldn’t feel so thrown when it did. For many parents, the birth of the first child (or others after) can put a strain on the relationship since baby makes three. It’s no longer the two of you and in fact the relationship goes on the back burner for the time being. It’s only natural that you will feel distant from your significant other since you are so sleep deprived and the baby takes up all your time. I share this so if it happens to you, remember that it is temporary and your strength and love in your relationship will pull you through. For us, we are still trying to find our new normal, but our love keeps us going and this mutual love for our son has brought us so much closer because of it, despite all the ups and downs.So happy for you!

    1. Thanks for your words! I’ll definitely keep them in mind when little guy comes along! And I agree — I feel like the stronger the relationship of the parents, the more stable everything is for baby. Sending you lots of love for your sweet family!

  4. My boyfriend and I have been together for four years now (where did the time go?!) and we’ve been living together (as in both of us contribute to rent) for almost a year. While I am definitely the emotional person in the relationship who doesn’t handle change out of nowhere well, my bf compliments me well in that he is so sure that everything will be fine. It’s been a rough year with moving unexpectedly, unexpected opportunities, losing those opportunities and now searching for new ones and i’m so glad that I have a listening ear. Sometimes I don’t take his support for granted and I walk all over him, but now that i’m writing this and being forced to think about it, he’s pretty awesome. No matter how crazy he drives me. So happy for you and Mr. Lovely and baby!

  5. Jeff and I have gone through some semi-similar things…especially with moving. And the in between time (where you’re not sure where you’re going to live and/or when you’re moving) is the worst for me. For some reason it just gives me an unsettled feeling and I can’t shake it until I know all of the specific details. Glad to know I’m not the only one!

    I love these married life posts, Chels.

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