I think I grew up this year. I mean, I’ve been an adult for a long time now, doing adult-type things and making adult-type choices. But this year I was hit with some new ones, and to be honest, it wasn’t easy or comfortable.
Not that I had a terrible year! It’s not that at all — there were actually huge chunks of this year that were amazing and wonderful and great adventures. But it was interspersed with real-life stuff, the stuff that when you are an adult you just have to put your chin up and march through to the other side, and hope that someday it’ll be better.
We lost my Grandma in January. I didn’t talk about it here on the blog because it was hard. And it coincided with Alt Summit, which was a huge high point, and I was feeling conflicted about being sad and happy at the same time. Losing someone is one of those adult-type things, where there’s nothing that’s going to make it better but time. And you just let yourself feel the way you feel, and hopefully soon it’ll feel less bad. One of the great blessings of that whole situation was that we had some really beautiful visits with Grandma before she died, where she was lucid and comfortable and happy. I’m so thankful for that.
Another thing I didn’t exactly talk about on the blog was my Dad’s bout of West Nile Virus this fall. Truly, if I had one piece of advice to take away from 2012 it would be Wear Bug Spray, because West Nile is nasty. Knock-out-your-dad-who-is-stronger-than-anything nasty. There was another adult moment for you. Sitting in the hospital for days with my Dad, who was so weak he couldn’t walk two steps and would fall asleep in the middle of a sentence. The blessing here? It was a mild case and he’s back up and around, for the most part. Still building strength, but back to his daily routine. Another huge blessing was the fact that we now live in California and were able to drive home to be with him, rather than having to fly across the country. I have to believe that that was part of a plan way bigger than me.
And speaking of living across the country, we don’t any more. Talk about adult decisions. It was not easy for Mr. Lovely and I to decide to put away the part of our lives that centered around New York. That choice had an effect on every part of our lives, from career to family to friends to the way our daily lives function. And while I know it was the right decision, I still get pangs of “What If.” Now there’s a dangerous game to play!
But aside from all of that adult business, there were so many gorgeous moments that made this year more good than bad. Building sandcastles with my niece in Mexico while my sister and bro-in-law relaxed on the beach. Getting to perform alongside my husband in a fantastic piece of musical theatre. Seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time. Being in a gorgeous recording studio, recording original music. Watching our best friends get married. Seeing the blog grow and knowing that it’s turning into something meaningful.
See? All you have to do is look for it, and the good is there. I guess that’s what being an adult boils down to. Recognizing things for what they are, and accepting them as they come. When you’re a grown-up, you can’t pass things off like you can when you’re a kiddo. It’s all yours to deal with, the good and the tough.
All that being said, Mr. Lovely and I are going into 2013 with eyes and hearts wide open, ready to catch everything that comes our way. It’s amazing to look back at where we were this time last year, and I’m heartened and encouraged to find that we have come so, so far. We’re ready for what’s next, and I think it’s going to be good.
Here’s to you, lovely readers, and to everything that lies ahead of you. Cheers. xoxo