married life // attached at the hip

Our Own Little World

Image via Who is Scout?

Remember this post? Mr. Lovely had been away for the weekend and I was enjoying my little bit of freedom! I do love having time to myself every now and then — I think we all do.

But there’s this thing that’s been happening lately. Since we moved to California especially, I’ve been attached to my husband at the hip, and I just don’t want it any other way. We work at home together all day, we have rehearsal together in the evenings, we go out and socialize together — I mean, we’re together¬†all day long. And I have zero problem with it. In fact, recently we spent a night apart while I was visiting with my family, and I actually felt a little bit of anxiety at spending that time away from him.

Now, don’t worry — I’m not becoming one of those girls who abandons everything for her husband. It’s not that I’m giving anything up or ignoring any friends, responsibilities, or anything like that. It’s just that right now our schedules are coinciding in every way, and I’m really loving it.

I sort of wonder if it’s because of the major transition of moving from NYC to LA. We have really had to rely on each other for everything, and perhaps it’s made me a little clingy. Or maybe it’s just a phase that I’m going through — I watch my niece go through phases where she really wants either Mommy or Daddy (or someone else entirely). Maybe adults do that too? And while we’re on the subject, you’ll be happy to know that the night we spent apart was absolutely¬†fine. Did I miss him? Yes. Was I pining away, dreaming of the moment when we’d be reunited? Nope. But it sure was nice to hug him again.

Anyway! Have you ever experienced this? It doesn’t even need to be with a spouse — it could be a family member or a friend too. I feel like we’ve all had a span of time when you wanted to be attached at the hip to someone else. I’d love to hear your take! xoxo


14 comments

  1. marlene on said:

    I can totally relate and think it’s very sweet. My husband and I are both surgical residents, so our time together is objectively quite limited when it comes to other couples, I’m sure. But we truly are best friends – I get excited when I see him in the hospital and when I leave the building, I want nothing more than just to chill and spend time with my best friend. Fortunately, we have many of the same interests and when we hang out, it’s almost always together, even in a group. Before I met him, I was very prideful about being independent and spending time along and having lots of activities and interests to keep me busy. But the truth is, the reason I MARRIED him, is because I enjoy his company and he’s literally my first choice person to hang out with all the time. I never felt like that with other people in the past; in the past I always felt a little sense of relief when I was apart from the other person, like I had the chance to get back to myself and who I am. With my husband, being with him IS who I am, and I couldn’t be happier. People are always saying that couples should spend time apart and have their own interests; that the sign of a “healthy” couple is that they have their own lives. Maybe that works for some people, but for me, the reason I got married is because I think my husband enhances all my interests and activities – and I want him to be included on all of them: working out, trying new restaurants, playing Irish music, going to museums, drinking beer, watching sports. It’s also great having similar professions because he totally UNDERSTANDS the long hours and frustrations at the hospital. Personally I think other people get jealous when they see couples in synergy because most people who get married (sadly), don’t have that kind of relationship. You’re sooo lucky to have married your best friend – and I think that having similar creative interests is wonderful! Being able to inspire your partner on a daily basis is a real blessing. Be happy that you’re one of the lucky ones in marriage, and don’t let others tell you otherwise :)

    • chelsea on said:

      I love this thought! “…The reason I married him is because I enjoy his company and he’s literally my first choice person to hang out with all the time.” So well said. I definitely have best girl friends, but my husband is a best friend too.

      Just realized another thing — when we were dating, we spent 8 months apart while I was on a tour. Maybe that has something to do with it?! After such a tough time apart, we never wanted to go back to that kind of lifestyle. Thanks for your awesome comments!

  2. Erinn on said:

    Oh I totally understand this! My husband and I have been together since we were in the 8th grade…since then (we’re now 24/25 and have been married for almost two years) we have only gone about 10 days without seeing each other. We have been attached at the hip since middle school, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Sure, we have our alone time and times at the house where we aren’t even talking or in the same room – but we love doing everything together…I think that’s where the best friend factor really comes in to play. I think you’re noticing it because of the major life change you just went through. I started noticing it when I became pregnant a few months ago, and really now more than ever I want to cherish the time we have together before the baby comes. I’m assuming moving to a new city and experiencing new things together is the same sort of realization. But it is nice, having someone you want to do all those things with day in and day out :)

    • chelsea on said:

      Wow! You don’t hear a story like that too often! 8th grade? You guys must know each other inside and out.

  3. Samantha on said:

    I totally get like this with my boyfriend. There was about a 2 month period this summer where we were together night and day as he was transitioning from finishing grad school, we moved to Chicago, and he had a while before starting a new job. When he started work, I was pretty bummed out! But after about 2 months constantly together, we did start to get a little bickery about a week before he went back to work, so we could tell it was time for a little space. Having him around all the time was fun while it lasted though!

    • chelsea on said:

      It’s so true! It’s wonderful to be apart and have some space, and then it makes it so much sweeter coming back together.

  4. My bf & I have been attached at the hip since we met (so going on 4 years now). We met at work, so we work together, have lunch together, then drive home together, and hang out the rest of the day! We always feel weird when we hang out with friends and not each other! We both really enjoy it. I remember our friend who also works with her boyfriend said she sometimes goes into the bathroom to just sit and read a magazine because she needs her own time. So funny! Truly though, we can’t imagine it any other way. We are enjoying every moment of it!

  5. Elaine Costa on said:

    Wow, what beautiful comments.

  6. detached at the hip on said:

    Reading this post and the comments before mine is coming at an interesting time for me. My husband and I also recently moved out to LA from the east coast, and of course while we were the only thing we had out here, we were attached at the hip. But I know now that I yearn for more alone time to be more productive or to gain experiences on my own so that I have something to talk to him about when we are back together. Or at least that’s the positive way to look at it.

    But reading your post, it makes me wish that my husband and I had more of that connection. It scares me to think that we’re not as close as we should be. Nor were we, ever. (To top it off, things aren’t really good at all lately, either.)

    And on the other hand, I feel like you and your commenters have unique situations where the desire to be around each other is mutually high… I have to say that most of my friends can’t wait to get away from their sig. other and yearn for freedom.

    Makes me wonder, though… if that kind of attitude is a sign of impending failure for the marriage.

    This is only the tip of the iceberg. But your post will cause me to keep your kind of deep connection with your husband in mind while I continue to evaluate my marriage.

    • chelsea on said:

      Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. I guess I just would like to say that I certainly don’t think that this whole “attached at the hip” thing is a sign of a successful or happy relationship. I think so much goes into making a relationship good, and at this particular moment in my life, I just happen to find myself in this circumstance of not wanting to be apart from my husband. There have been and still will be times when all I want is some time to myself; I’m sure my husband feels the same way. And I think that’s human nature — sometimes we need to recharge with our own thoughts and our own agenda, with no one pulling us in another direction.

      All of that being said, only you can truly know if your relationship is working and if you are happy. And it’s something that should be constantly evaluated, in my opinion, with lots of hard work to keep the balance in place. Thank you again for your honesty, and we all wish you lots of luck and send you lots of love!

  7. evanthia on said:

    Hi Celsea! I’m a follower of yours from Greece. I really liked your post. In a wat, it reflects my thoughts. I’m not married or in a relationship at the moment but I found your post really encouraging. This is how I’d like my relationship with my future husband to be. What I’m trying to say is that I find it encouraging seeing couples experiencing their relationship in this way. And I really liked what Marlene said about marrying your best friend. This is exactly what I want! And I hope that I’ll find it… I want to wish you all the best and keep enjoying your lovely relationship with your husband… xxx

  8. My husband and I AREN’T attached at the hip, but boy do we wish we were. We love each other and are each other’s best friend. Who wouldn’t want to spend ALL day every day with their BEST BEST friend!? Plus one you get to smooch! ;) He’s my other half and like any body part- if it were to be gone I miss it dearly. Same with him.

    I think it’s a good thing! Rock on hip attachers!

    • chelsea on said:

      Aw, those are such sweet things to say about a hubby!

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