So seriously, I can’t believe that it’s been almost a year since Mr. Lovely and I tied the knot. I really meant to write more this last year about the first year of marriage, but it just zoomed right by and here we are! But looking back, I’m starting to realize that both of us have definitely learned a few things about each other, about marriage, and about being super happy at home. Keep reading if you wanna hear my revelations and tips for having an awesome first year.
Exercise your Empathy Muscle. I seriously remember the moment that I realized how much more I understood about my husband if I just imagined myself in his situation. If you can empathize, suddenly a whole other world of understanding floods in and maybe misunderstandings aren’t so weighty anymore. Try putting yourself in your honey’s shoes. See what happens.
See Kindness for What It Is. I like using the little spoon. Not the big soup spoon. Ever. Mr. Lovely knows this, and sometimes still gives me a big spoon. But the point is that he gave me a spoon! That’s really sweet, right?! Now I can just sit here and eat my yogurt. He really just tries to be kind and give me what I need. So I’m trying to stop saying, “Aw, dude, the big spoon?” And just say, “Thanks, Boo.” (Yep. Sometimes I call him Boo.) Moral of the story: if the hubs tries to do something sweet, give him credit.
Do Something Extra. It sounds dumb, but surprises at home can be really awesome. Like “Surpriiiise! I did the laundry and you don’t have to.” Or “Surpriiiise! I made you a delicious beverage!” Mr. Lovely is really good at this one — I’m getting better. He usually beats me to it. But I’m trying to do more extra.
Just Say Yes. Sometimes you don’t want to do that thing that he wants to do. I don’t want to go to this store to look for a chair, because we’ve been to ten other stores today looking for chairs. But he wants to and so maybe I just say yes. And not a sulky, icky yes that clearly says “You’re a big jerk.” A yes that says, “Dude, I’m in. Let’s do this.”
Let Him Help. Sometimes, dudes just want to be dudes. Yes, you can lift that heavy thing yourself. But dudes like lifting it for you because it makes them feel dudey. (Dudey. It’s a word now.) I consider myself pretty capable and independent, and I like doing things myself. But when my husband says, “Let me do that for you,” I let him. Because who knows how long that’s gonna last?!
In any case, I know this just scratches the surface — being married is awesome, and I kind of see it as this zillion-piece jigsaw puzzle that the two of you are always working on, together. Lots of stuff to figure out and fit into place. And obviously there’s so much more! Are you married? How was your first year? I’d seriously love to hear the things you have learned and how they’ve changed you. Three cheers for wedded bliss! xoxo