Fighting in Marriage

Married Life // Fighting

I just asked Ryan what the next Married Life post should be about and without even a split-second hesitation, he said, “FIGHTING.” We may or may not have had a…

Fighting in Marriage

I just asked Ryan what the next Married Life post should be about and without even a split-second hesitation, he said, “FIGHTING.” We may or may not have had a doozy yesterday. We were shooting some video content for the blog and we had differing creative ideas and all of a sudden we found ourselves in the midst of a flared-nostril, crossed-arm staring contest and we had both dug in our heels so hard I wasn’t really sure what was going to happen next. I have what you might call a bit of a stubborn streak. And a temper to beat the band. I just don’t usually show it to anybody but Ryan. Lucky fellow.

So I’m sure you’re dying to know what happened next. I made a joke to try to diffuse the situation, which made him madder, which made me re-mad, so I stormed out and went and flung myself on our bed and scrolled through Instagram until my blood stopped boiling. (No joke.) After that I came back in and said I was sorry for the mean things I said, and he said nothing back, which made me mad AGAIN, and then he backpedaled and apologized too and the rest of the day was a kind of bumpy dance where we both were mad but didn’t want to be mad so we just kind of made it through the day. By evening we were making fun of ourselves for being idiots because neither of us could really pinpoint how the fight actually started.

Sometimes I feel like a jerk because if Ryan and I never wanted to fight, we wouldn’t have to. Fundamentally, we have nothing wrong (which I know is a major blessing). We’re on the same page about kids, money, work, family, religion, all that major stuff. When we fight, it’s about completely dumb stuff. Like whether the camera should be at this angle or that angle. Or who has to pick the lunch place this time. If that’s not first world problems I don’t know what is. But despite all that, I maintain that occasional fighting can be healthy for a relationship. Because usually it’s not about the thing that’s actually happening, it’s about what’s underneath, right? If I had to guess, our fight over “creative differences” actually had to do more with me thinking he might not like my ideas or that maybe I’m a total hack and have no good creative ideas to begin with. Or with him thinking that he always just tries to help and I don’t let him help. Or the fact that we both really love to be right, to a fault. Or something similarly deep and uncomfortable to talk about because they’re more serious issues. So really, if you can be honest with yourself and search for what’s way down deep underneath the anger, a fight can be an opportunity to be better as a person and as a couple. (That is, if you can stop the steam from coming out of your ears for long enough to see what’s really going on. Which is not my strong point.)

Do you fight with your partner? What are your hot-button issues? I’m not talking pet-peeve type of stuff, I’m talking about what really gets you into a war zone. How do you get out of a fight once you’re in it? xoxo

P.S. More talk about our marriage!

Hiring

Lovely Indeed is Hiring!

LOVELY INDEED IS HIRING! It happened, you guys. I’ve hit a very beautiful wall and Lovely Indeed needs a few more peeps on the team. We have some really, really cool…

Hiring

LOVELY INDEED IS HIRING! It happened, you guys. I’ve hit a very beautiful wall and Lovely Indeed needs a few more peeps on the team. We have some really, really cool things in the works for this year and I’m looking for a gang of lovelies who want to help make it all happen. We’re looking for both LOCAL AND REMOTE applicants, with all kinds of different skills. So if it sounds like fun to spend your days painting things gold, taste testing waffles, and generally making the world a more lovely place, read on!

Creative Production + Development Assistant

Must love candy and crafting and dancing to Beyoncé. Our new Creative Production + Editorial Assistant will be in the studio with us, crafting, styling shoots, prepping materials, testing recipes, researching trends, concepting projects, supply shopping, and more. Basically, if you’re looking to spend your days elbow-deep in gold spray paint and hot glue, this job’s for you.

DUTIES INCLUDE:

  • hands-on crafting, prepping materials, testing of DIYs and recipes
  • assistance with setup, and styling of photo/video shoots
  • creative brainstorming and conceptualizing fresh, fun content
  • errands and studio maintenance

QUALIFICATIONS:

  • adept at crafting and using crafting tools (BONUS if you have a special skill in any creative/artistic medium — painting, drawing, baking, cooking, makeup, hair, underwater basket weaving — just about anything!)
  • highly creative
  • resourceful, decisive, strong multitasker, organized, punctual, attentive to detail, exemplary work ethic
  • familiarity with the Lovely Indeed aesthetic and voice
  • Pluses (but not required): working knowledge of Photoshop, Illustrator, Lightroom, Mac computers, Canon cameras. Previous on-set photoshoot experience.

DETAILS:

  • paid position, hourly based upon experience
  • approximately 10 hours weekly, with a minimum 6 month commitment and opportunity for growth
  • must be local to the California Central Valley or willing to commute

TO APPLY:

Send an email to [email protected] with the subject “Creative Production + Development Assistant.” Tell us a bit about yourself and why you’d like to work with Lovely Indeed! Please include:

  • Links to your social media accounts
  • Links to any blog/portfolio/shop that you may have
  • Information about your personal experiences with making. Tell us about your specialties or favorite materials to work with.
  • Two fresh ideas for DIY projects that you think would fit well with the Lovely Indeed aesthetic. Please ensure that you haven’t seen the projects elsewhere.
  • Your resume

Operations + Editorial Assistant

If you love lists as much as I do, you might be the perfect fit here. This one’s all about the technical side of things. Our Operations + Editorial assistant should be a social media whiz and love pop culture just as much as an Excel spreadsheet. If you’re a tech nerd with a trendy streak, we’re looking for you.

DUTIES INCLUDE:

  • assisting with Lovely Indeed’s social media presence on various outlets
  • managing the Lovely Indeed newsletter
  • formatting or drafting blog posts
  • curating roundups, updating galleries and the Lovely Indeed shop

QUALIFICATIONS:

  • working knowledge of social media platforms (mainly Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Snapchat, and Instagram)
  • working knowledge of WordPress
  • must have a computer (Mac preferred), be proficient, and have access to computer/internet throughout the day
  • trend and pop-culture savvy
  • resourceful, decisive, strong multitasker, organized, punctual, attentive to detail, exemplary work ethic
  • familiarity with the Lovely Indeed aesthetic and voice
  • Pluses (but not required): SEO knowledge

DETAILS:

  • paid position, hourly based upon experience
  • approximately 10 hours weekly, with a minimum 6 month commitment
  • accepting both local and remote applicants

TO APPLY:

Send an email to [email protected] with the subject “Operations + Editorial Assistant.” Tell us a bit about yourself and why you’d like to work with Lovely Indeed! Please include:

  • Links to your social media accounts
  • Links to any blog/portfolio/shop that you may have
  • Links to three blog posts not found on Lovely Indeed that you think fit well with our aesthetic. Create a fun caption for each link in 140 characters or less (emojis are okay!).
  • Links to three items that you’d include in the Lovely Indeed shop.
  • Your resume

Graphic Designer

We’re on the hunt for a graphic designer who can help on a freelance basis for various projects, printables, and post layouts! If you’re a graphic designer with an aesthetic that you think would complement the Lovely Indeed style, we’d love to see your portfolio. Send an email to [email protected] with the subject “Graphic Designer” and tell us about yourself! Please also include links to your portfolio, shop, social accounts, or any work that you’d like to show off.

What Else Ya Got?

Just because that’s all we’re listing doesn’t mean that’s all we need! Do you have a skill or specialty that you’d like to contribute to the team? Maybe you’re an amazing photographer and you’d like to shoot some projects with us. Or perhaps you own a bakery and want to start a special blog column about baking. Or maybe you just really like dancing to Beyonce and want to come hang out once a week?! Send an email to hello@lovelyindeed with the subject “I Wanna Be on the Team,” tell us how you’d like to contribute, and include links to your blog/portfolio/social accounts/shop.

All applications are due Friday, January 29th at 11:59 pm PST. We will begin reviewing applications Monday, February 1st and will update here as positions are filled. Thank you!

2016

Twenty Sixteen // Desktop Wallpaper

Hey lovelies — here we are. Back at the start with another chance to do it right. Isn’t that a beautiful thing? This has become a tradition around here, and…

2016

Hey lovelies — here we are. Back at the start with another chance to do it right. Isn’t that a beautiful thing?

This has become a tradition around here, and one of my favorites. I don’t do resolutions, but at the end of every year I sit down and think through what I need to focus on in the future. I boil it all down and it becomes this: a barometer of how I’m living, whether I’m on the right path, and where I’d like to be in a year’s time. Pretty much none of it is tangible or quantifiable. It’s more about what’s inside. And for me, I’ve always found that when what’s inside feels good, what’s outside tends to fall into place.

You should go back and read through my old ones (links are below). It’s pretty interesting to see what’s stuck around, what’s totally new, and what’s cycled back in from a previous year. Do any of these ring true for you? What would be on your list? In case this gets ya right in your ever-lovin’ heart, you can download it to add to your desktop as a little hug from me to you. Let’s make this year a beauty. xoxo

DOWNLOAD DESKTOP WALLPAPER

See past years: 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015

Let Your Heart Be Light

Merry Christmas

Well lovelies, I’m signing off. I’m ready to hunker down and spend a good long Christmas break with my family, and I hope that you’re able to do the same….

Let Your Heart Be Light

Well lovelies, I’m signing off. I’m ready to hunker down and spend a good long Christmas break with my family, and I hope that you’re able to do the same. You know I get a little sentimental this time of year (read: always), and so I just have to say: thank you. Thank you for being here, for coming back, for being a part of my crew. I love this space and my job and you all, and I hope that you love it here too. It’s because of you all that I get to do what I do and I am deeply grateful.

I’m sending you all my best holiday wishes, that you find yourself somewhere warm, and happy, and surrounded by people that you love. We’ll be back on January 4th for a fresh, new year. And for now — let your heart be light. xoxo

betterforbaby1

A Giving Tree

“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.” -Hamilton Wright Mabie A conspiracy of love?! How awesome is that turn of phrase? And ol’…

betterforbaby1

“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.”
-Hamilton Wright Mabie

A conspiracy of love?! How awesome is that turn of phrase? And ol’ Hamilton was right, the holiday season does feel that way, doesn’t it? It’s the most beautiful time to give of yourself, share joy, and spread love. Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and this year I have something that I’m so grateful for I can hardly believe it. Since having Henry, I’ve been teaming up with Pampers for a few different projects, and this year they offered their partners an incredible opportunity: a $2,500 grant to use in their community as they see fit, to help make life #BetterforBaby. Pampers believes that babies are the most powerful agents of change in the world, and when a baby comes into your life, you’ll do anything you can to be better for that little one. So they entrusted us with the honor of using the grant money in our community to help make a difference.

My absolute first thought was one of my favorite local holiday traditions — the Soroptomist Community Christmas Tree. Each year, our Soroptomist chapters partner with social services agencies and city schools to create a list of disadvantaged youth, from birth to age 17. Their needs are notated, and each kid gets a card with their needs and a couple of Christmas wish items written on it. You’ll see everything from diapers, to warm winter coats, to backpacks, to bicycles — these kids need it all. Each card gets clipped to the tree and hundreds of community members come to take cards, purchase the needed items, and return them to be wrapped and given to the kids. It’s the most beautiful example of giving, from the organization that it takes to run the project, to the people who come and purchase the gifts. And because of the tree, there are thousands of babies and kids in our community who are outfitted with basic needs like diapers and clothes (and who get a special gift or two that would perhaps not otherwise be possible). This year is the tree’s 30th anniversary, which is incredible in and of itself.

betterforbaby2

We went as a family to the tree last weekend to drop off the grant donation, and to pick a name from the tree ourselves as well. It was perhaps one of the coolest experiences I’ve been afforded in this crazy blogging career. There was no big ceremony, no party, nothing special — just the joy of being able to give back to my own community and to help give a few little ones a special Christmas. The grant money will be used to help complete the need and wish lists for multiple babies, kids, and families.

Sometimes I look around at my family and friends as we spend time with Henry and I get overwhelmed with gratitude at how much love and support there is surrounding us. And other times my heart feels heavy at the thought that there are babies growing up in the world who might not have that. But sometimes combating that heavy heart is as simple as doing something. Trying to make a difference. Taking part in the conspiracy of love. So many thanks to Pampers for spreading that around to make things #BetterforBaby, and to all of the wonderful people in all of our local communities who are helping to make a difference. (Check this out for more about #BetterforBaby — or if you need a good cry.)

Wishing you all a beautiful Thanksgiving, and hoping that you have a million things to be thankful for. xoxo

betterforbaby3

How to Make an Annual Photo Book

How to Make a Yearly Family Photo Book

Every year I say I want to do it. And every year I start and then get completely overwhelmed and just give up. But I’m pumped to say that I…

How to Make an Annual Photo Book

Every year I say I want to do it. And every year I start and then get completely overwhelmed and just give up. But I’m pumped to say that I finally made it happen, folks! I got all of our photos together from my camera and each of our phones and edited out the junk and kept the precious stuff and got it all into a big beautiful book. Have you ever attempted an annual photo album or book? It’s a daunting task, right? Now that I finally have my act together, I can share with you a few tips that totally helped, and my favorite way to put a pretty printed book together.

How to Make an Annual Photo Book

Work On It Gradually Don’t try to sit down in December and sort through 12 months of photos, because I guarantee your eyes will cross and you’ll start crying and throw your computer across the room. Instead, create some folders on your phone or computer (wherever you store your digital photos). As you take images throughout the year, move your favorites to those folders so you’ll have them at the ready when you start making your book. Bonus points if you make a folder for every month!

Pick Your Photos Carefully I know that it’s so tempting to include every single photo you took the first time your baby tried green beans. And squash. And spaghetti. But you could fill a book with just those little moments, if you take photos the way I do. So try to focus on the images that really signify something special or remind you of a time that you want to be sure to remember. Edit out photos that are too similar or you’ll end up with an encyclopedia.

Use the Right Book-Making Tool Here’s the really crucial part, gang. There are so many ways out there to put together a photo book, but my favorite for this type of project is Blurb. If you’re a hands-off type of person, you can just upload all of your images and Blurb will magically sort them into a book — you can just push go and BOOM it’s done. If you like a little more control (cough me cough), they have a great downloadable program called BookWright that allows you to really get into the nitty gritty of customizing your book. But don’t let it fool you — I did an entirely custom book in about an hour. So easy, intuitive, and quick!

How to Make an Annual Photo Book

How to Make an Annual Photo Book

Make it Pretty Don’t just use the same layout over and over! I loved messing with the page layout options on Blurb, and I especially love that they have a full-bleed option that really features your images in a lovely way. Mix it up and make it interesting by using different layout for your photos.

That’s it! Our book came to our door and Ryan and I stopped working for a good while to flip through it and remember our year. I love that we have images there that we didn’t share on Instagram or anywhere else — photos that are special just to us, of adventures we were on together. There’s our first date alone after having a baby, trips abroad, and that time my niece decided we should throw her a backyard wedding so she could marry Henry (she made us do it twice because she forgot to walk down the aisle right the first time). I tell ya, as a mom, I look at this book and get a little overwhelmed about how many beautiful times we’ve had as a family.

Do you make annual photo books? They’re becoming more and more important to me, especially since so many of our digital images get taken and forgotten on our phones! And they’re a perfect idea for an annual holiday gift, too — don’t tell Mr. Lovely but Santa might stick this one in his stocking, even though he’s seen it already… xoxo

How to Make an Annual Photo Book

This post is sponsored by Blurb. All opinions are my own. Thank you for being supportive of the sponsors who help keep Lovely Indeed rocking!

Married Life

Top Five // Married Life

It’s time to play the greatest hits game! In honor of Lovely Indeed’s 5th birthday, I thought it would be a blast to go back and recap our Top Five…

Married Life

It’s time to play the greatest hits game! In honor of Lovely Indeed’s 5th birthday, I thought it would be a blast to go back and recap our Top Five posts in a few different categories. Up today, we’re sharing our top five Married Life posts. As it turns out, you guys loooove to talk about boys. Married, dating, single, it doesn’t matter. I just love hearing from you in the comment sections of these posts because you’re all so thoughtful (and totally hilarious). If you missed any of these, check them out and don’t forget to scroll through the comments for some extra juicy stuff. xoxo

Married Life // The Pet Peeves
Married Life // Honey I’m Home
Married Life // Kids
Married Life // Traveling Together
Married Life // Goals

Anthropologie Giveaway

Lovely Indeed’s Birthday! Win $250 to Anthropologie!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US! Guys, September marks the 5th year of this lovely adventure and I couldn’t be more thrilled. This here ol’ blog started out as a very hodgepodge…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US! Guys, September marks the 5th year of this lovely adventure and I couldn’t be more thrilled. This here ol’ blog started out as a very hodgepodge collection of my thoughts and projects and now it has developed into something I never could have imagined. At the risk of sounding cheesy, documenting our lives here on Lovely Indeed has been and continues to be such a great joy, and I truly love coming here to share with you and get to know you. I mean it! Blogging has made my world a brighter place, filled with more lovely people both on and offline. (Sniff!)

Okay I’m putting away my tissues now to get to the real celebration! Because we’re online BFFS, I absolutely KNOW for certain you are Anthropologie maniacs just like me. So to celebrate, we’re giving away a big beautiful $250 gift card to Anthro, just because you’re awesome! I want one of you lovelies to go on a shopping spree and have a ball doing it. And just in case you need a little inspiration, might I suggest a few of these beauties?

Anthropologie Giveaway

Sunnies. Earrings. Zipper Pouch. Mule Mug. Body Oil. Kimono. Notebook. Candle. Baskets.

Check out the Rafflecopter below for to find out all the different ways to enter and for giveaway rules! (UPDATE! If you’re having trouble logging into the Rafflecopter, try using a different browser.) Thanks so much for being a Lovely Indeed reader and for following along as we make the world a little more lovely. Good luck, now let’s celebrate! xoxo

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Marriage Tips Year Four

Married Life // Tips for Year Four

This is one of my favorite annual posts! Each year around our anniversary Ryan and I put our heads together and talk about the stuff we learned that year. Some…

Marriage Tips Year Four

This is one of my favorite annual posts! Each year around our anniversary Ryan and I put our heads together and talk about the stuff we learned that year. Some of it is stupid and small and some of it is big and has shaped the way our marriage looks. But all of it is awesome. (See links to years 1-3 down below!) This year had some major stuff going on for us — we tackled pretty much every major change you can think of, from moving to babies to jobs and more. But looking back, I also feel like we’ve grown this year more than ever before, and I feel like a different person than I was a year ago. In a great way. So if you’re into that kind of thing, read on for our biggest tips and takeaways on year four of marriage.

Don’t Push a Big Decision. In our last year of marriage, we’ve moved houses, cities, and had a baby. No small stuff. Just big stuff. And each of those big things seemed like they would be a gut-wrenching decision, but they weren’t. Somehow, when the time was right to make a big decision, we just knew it. It felt right. And I think it’s because we didn’t push on trying to make up our minds about a big thing before it was time. One day, we just looked at each other and said, “You ready to move?” “Yup.” I think if, as a pair, you allow life to take its course, it’ll be a lot less stressful when the time comes to make a life change.

Live and Let Live. Now that we’re settling into marriage, we’re finding that it’s imperative to let each other be as we are. Here’s an example. I like to get up at 5:30 and go to the gym so that I can start my day all revved up. Ryan likes to sleep until about 7:30 (which, in parent time, might as well be afternoon). At first I would get so frustrated because that meant that I would be on morning baby duty and have to get my work day started. So he tried to get up earlier, but it was a dismal failure. He’s just not a morning person. His evening game is strong, and mine is not. So I’ve learned to honor the fact that he needs a couple of extra hours of sleep in the morning to be his best self. And when he wakes up, he’s ready to go. I could bang my head against a wall trying to get him up at 6 am but none of us would be better for it.

It Takes Two. Especially — especially — where parenting is concerned. Do not make the mistake of trying to take on the world by yourself. If you have a partner, for crying out loud depend on each other. And be dependable in return.

Know Your Strengths. Truth bomb: Ryan sucks at cleaning the kitchen. When he tries, he leaves a trail of smeared countertops and half cleaned dishes in his wake. But also, I totally suck at stuff like emptying the diaper pail. (Somehow I bust the bag open every time.) So he empties the diaper pail and I clean the kitchen. You’ve gotta know your strengths and play to them. Give in to it, or it’ll be years of trying to fit square pegs in round holes.

Be Love. Once you’re a few years in and the honeymoon is over and you’re down in the trenches of marriage with broken garbage disposals and crying babies, it’s not uncommon for 5 pm to roll around and suddenly you realize you’ve barely even looked at your spouse. Ryan and I have never been into grand sweeping gestures of romance, but what we are into are the tiny things, day in and day out, that all weave together to make a wonderful relationship. Instead of trying to be romantic, try to be love. Infuse love into everything that you do for each other and with each other; it takes no more time to perform an act out of love than it does to perform it out of habit or grudgingly. Each thing I do around the house, I do it knowing in my heart that it’s for the betterment of my husband (and my son) and our life together. And I swear you can feel that in a marriage.

So that’s year four, gang. Do any of these ring true with you? In my mind, it doesn’t just apply to spouses, either — I think all of these can apply to marriages, friendships, and everything in between. If you have any of your own tips or thoughts that you keep close to your heart, share ’em in the comments! I’d love to know. xoxo

P.S. Year One. Year Two. Year Three.

 

Wedding First Dance

Anniversary

Four years, three cities, two coasts, one baby, and about twenty gazillion perfect memories. I feel infinitely older than I did four years ago today when I married this guy,…

Wedding First Dance

Four years, three cities, two coasts, one baby, and about twenty gazillion perfect memories. I feel infinitely older than I did four years ago today when I married this guy, but also infinitely better for being his wife. I have no idea how we got so lucky, honey.

We’re off on our annual anniversary trip — in Tulum, finally! And this year we get to spend it with little dude. Follow along over on Instagram for lots of #lovelyindeedtravels photos, and come back next week because I’ve got a whole mess of good stuff lined up while we’re away! xoxo

Married Life // Making Friends

Married Life // Making Friends

It’s so easy to make friends when you’re little. Right? I mean, you just go up to the closest foursquare court on the playground and ask to play next. Then…

Married Life // Making Friends

It’s so easy to make friends when you’re little. Right? I mean, you just go up to the closest foursquare court on the playground and ask to play next. Then you grow up a little more and in college you’re tossed in with everybody else in your major and you have a built-in social group. But what about after school is over and you get married and you’re in the real world? How do you find friends?

Mr. Lovely and I are pals. I mean, best buddies. And it’s so amazing to be married to your best friend and get to be friends and be in love. Really, it’s insanely wonderful. We come as a pair and love to spend time together. But also, I think it’s healthy for the two people in a relationship to have outside activities and especially outside friends. I think we all need a network of support that should extend beyond our significant others, yeah?

Our situation is a little weird, in that we’ve tackled two major moves during our marriage, from NYC to LA and now to Central California. And each time, we left behind a group of friends that we were incredibly sad to part with. So now we’ve got plenty of friends, but they just happen to be scattered all over the United States. And in our new town, we’re finding that as a married couple with a little dude it’s not as easy to find pals as it was when we were young and footloose and fancy free. Also, I think that the older you get, the fewer people there are in your age demographic who are open to new friendships. Lots of people our age who live in town are kind of set for friends, they have a routine, and there’s just not a lot of room for adding more to the mix. Which I totally understand. So where the heck do you make friends?!

We’ve literally started hitting on people to be our friends while we’re out in the world. No joke, we spotted a couple in our favorite taqueria with a baby who looked similar in age to Henry, and we walked right up and asked if they ever wanted to hang out. Now they’re some of our good buddies. But putting yourself out there like that can be intimidating and tiring, and it’s easy to just fall back into the insular routine of hanging out with your spouse or partner because it’s the path of least resistance.

Nevertheless, we’re always striving to meet new people; not just to have things to do, but because people are awesome. Every time I meet someone new I am grateful to have another person and point of view to broaden my world a little bit. So I’d love to know your take on this one! Have you experienced the same thing? Where do you meet new friends as a grownup? xoxo